My Depression Story by Maryann Adomi

It all began after the death of my father two years ago. My father was my friend, buddy, a shoulder I always leaned on, he was my spiritual guardian, until the cold hands of death embraced him.

One year after his demise, the trauma of losing him was unbearable, I had academic issues which made me leave school. I started doing part-time jobs which didn't give me so much.

My mum who was very supportive prior to the death of my father became a complainer, it was like she lost her strength. She always compared me with other successful kids who lost their parents but became successful and influential in the country.

Negativity became the world I lived in, I lost my self esteem, I always felt not good enough, not smart enough, I was disappointed in myself because I know I should have done better than I did.

While this went on and on, the only thing that made me feel good was hard drugs...... I got high daily, seeking for ways to relieve my pain.

I would say a prayer to God occasionally but he never replied, so I thought there was no need going to him anymore! I felt rejected by most persons in my life, I was desperate to receive love, I barely had friends who showed care and concern, those who came were almost in the same shoe with me.

Five years passed and nothing significant happened, I thought of suicide but somehow deep down in my heart I knew I would go to hell if I did that and that's a place I don't want to be.

I also didn't want to prove the world right that I was worthless, but at the same time I was clueless on how to go about it.

On the 6th day of the 7th month in that same year, While doing housekeeping at the hotel I worked in, I met a man who revealed he was intrigued by my attitude to work, he scheduled an appointment with me the following week.

When we met, I narrated my story to him and to my amazement, instead of offering financial assistance, he prayed with me and further referred me to a group of persons who specifically looked into cases of depression, rape, drug abuse/addiction, and the likes.

When I got to them, I was shown the way out of my struggles.

I was taught how to love myself, I was taught to believe in myself and in my ability to be successful.

I was shown how to have an optimistic mindset and most of all i was shown the way to salvation and I joyfully connected with my maker.

In the past years I have learnt a lot and will share key tips as I round off.
Choosing to rectify mistakes made in the past is never too late a deed. Every choice you've made in the past can be corrected now. You can choose to forgive NOW. You can choose to let go.

Choices are essential in your life. We're a product of choice. Choices can be made consciously or unconsciously. Whichever way, they always define behavior.

Happiness Is Yours to Create; They Are Often Determined By Your Choices. As the cliché goes, "happiness is a state of mindmind".

Once you cultivate the habit of developing and dwelling on loving thoughts about others you will find yourself in more loving relationships.You must start with the man in the mirror.

Someone one told a story of how every time he bought a brand new car, all eyes would on it (being the latest model), but the euphoria is usually short lived,they move over to a better brand or newer model.

People's needs, likes and desires are insatiable.
You will die trying to please them and they aren't pleased !

Cut the chase !

Say no to yourself We brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.
Stop competition, it's devilish. You will hurt yourself and your relationships and your career.Following God might be slow, but it's steady and fulfilling.

 Avoid drugs and alcohol. It is common for people to seek solace in alcohol and drugs. You may feel okay temporarily but you'll need higher doses of these substances to sustain the 'high feeling'.

It has been documented that suicidal ideation worsens with intake of alcohol and drugs. So stay away from these substances.
 Find out purpose. A purposeful life will easily make a jump out of depression if it ever occurs.

What does living mean to you. Have you got a vision in your heart that make you look forward to another day? Finding purpose outside the maker is an effort in futility.

Just as  the true purpose/use of a product can only be determined by the manufacturer, so also the true purpose can only be found in God. Also always Share your worries.

Most people who commit suicide never shared with anyone their inner struggles. Part of the blame for this lies on a judgemental world such as ours. The truth is there are still people who can be trusted within your network, people you can trust.

If you lack this privilege, then you can visit a health professional; either a psychiatrist or a counsellor who are trained with years of experience and are bound by law to keep your matter confidential.